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Writings 2021 - Empty Spaces by Ellie McDonagh

 

 

A scream fills the empty spaces of the forest.

Wildlife scatters away from the pitch, absorbing the pain delivered with each new wave of shrieking.

I curse the world and beyond, but what do I care?

I don’t.

All I can feel is the dangerous grip of fear and rage trapping my heart. My eyes are burning from the heat of my tears and my teeth are on the brink of shattering from the pressure of my bite.

Yet, I can’t release my eyes from the focus of my pain.

The body that lays in the soil did nothing to warrant my curses. It was just a host for the soul to reside in, to feed off of, to abuse. It’s his soul that deserves my hatred and sorrow.

Blood oozes from the body’s deep gashes and punctures, giving evidence to a recent struggle lost and gone. The crimson liquid seeps into the earth, mixing with its elements. It coats my hands and torso, my feet and knees.

It should be worrying how much the blood doesn’t frighten me, but it really has no affect. Washing it off is simple. It's like washing off dirt. The water may turn red and swirl with passion, but it will soon run down the drain and be forgotten.

What throws me off are the deep voids of lifelessness in his eyes. I would stare into his light brown hues, and I’d watch the emotions flash by when we used to run free in the gardens, or dance to the evening tunes till dawn broke. We used to have fun, and then we didn’t.

 I took it for granted.

I can’t understand for the life of me why he changed and why he made me so mad. I cry and cry because there is nothing I can do.

"Why?!" I scream into the early morning.

And sobs still wrack my body long after the screams caused my muscles to seize up.

"Why?" I whispered.

I'm dead to the world now.

As dead as the lover I’ve killed.

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